Lo siento.

M o n a L i s a

mi Mona Lisa, eres hermosa. eres digno de él y voy a hacer cualquier cosa para que usted vuelva.

  

.. No voy a dar marcha atrás

♥

#nowplaying Want U Back - Cher Lloyd

Stare into the gun, do you feel this numbing feeling on your forehead?

OMG 3-DAY CAMP. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!! altho it was super tiring, exhausting, and I was so sleep-deprived and walking like a zombie and sneezed at everything in sight ):
There was just so much drama in just 3 days omfg. But during these 3days there was happiness, contentment, excitement, delight.
Omg!! The forest adventure!! it was so scary yet fun!!
finally got to use the two ropes thing on the harness! I've always thought what was it for in primary school! 
AND FINALLY we do not need people to keep billaying (?) us while we're in mid-air only a thin rope to support our weight. I never trust the people billaying me!! if they're not focused I'll die ok!! and last time I had someone whom was very quiet and blur to billay me I felt unsafe to even walk on the log! I felt like if I fell and died she would've panicked but still afraid to tell a teacher omfg.
Yeah so we have to make use of the tools we have on the harness to make our way through the four stations. And we would go from one station to another by the flying-fox! Cool or cool!!
And I was so afraid when I first had to do the flying fox! (oooh I still have that feeling when I close my eyes and think about it!) it was so high up and when I looked down my legs turn all jelly and shit but I mustered my courage to just jump and convince myself the pulley thing wouldn't jam or snap while I slide across the reservoir and yeah I succeeded!
The other 2 flying foxes were less scary since I did the first one and I survived. & hey it wasn't really scary after I did all the stations high up whether I had to step on shaky logs and walk on a single rope and hold only the rope that was attached to my pulley.
Altho the lightning alert sounded while I was in Site 3 and they just asked me to 'roll' myself through all the stations and just flying-fox to Site 4, I've never felt so accomplished! I used to be rlly scared of the flying-fox!
& although there was no one to cheer me on except my own pretentious enemies, its sad all of us were separated into groups ):
So much more to say but I'm just too tired!.. even though I had already repaid my sleep debt for 2 days ok maybe I'm just lazy but whatever guys ciao!!!!






I'm glad I came for this camp because I became a better person

Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.

Hmm.. It seems my life is crumbling into pieces, huh.

forget happy posts, why should i pretend

Everything is written in the aspect of      true friends-
Yes, I wrote it, I wrote that post of negative things about you, with half of me hoping you would see it. Why? because you were treating me coldly after those few days, and all I want was for your attention whether good or bad. B/c I'd rather you hate me for something I do, than treat me coldly. But no, after you read it you treated me colder than before. I thought you would scold me when I came to school so I could scold back and scream at you and blame you for all my misery, but you didn't.

Attitude
Yes, my attitude played a part in this for being possibly the most egoistic shit you'll ever meet. I admit my attitude is shitty as hell. Yes, I'm self-centred. Yes, I'm selfish. Yes, I'm arrogant. .. It was like, 'since we're in this plight already, why not sink deeper' attitude. This was what triggered me to write it. I don't know why I was born to be a burden to others.

Anger&Jealousy
Yes, I admit I was jealous & envy, obv or I wouldn't have written about her 2. Jealous you've got bettr things to care abt, jealous you've got people to care for you & I don't..& yes I was angry, angry that you didn't care, angry that you told her everything even tho I told you not to. Yeah, maybe that time when you said it was fine I rlly thought you were fine with it. You needed somebody to confide in, so maybe I kinda disregarded your thoughts and feelings then. Seriously I never wanted to hurt you, I didn't mean for you to be backstabbed.

Friend
You may have a lot of friends to wipe your tears, cheer you up and encourage you. But I only have you as my true friend. I'm sorry if I come across as a very clingy person. When you're depressed or down I try not to ask or concern b/c you need your own space. Well I won't be clingy and won't disturb u anymore.

We don't even care abt each other's welfare anymre.
Maybe you've changed. I've changed. Everything's changed and I'm still living in the past.
And for the very last time I'm going to say it since i've already said it a gazillion times.
Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Sorry.
You must know that the last thing I will ever do is betray you. I never did, & I never will.  


I know i wouldn't be able to say it to your face b/c im such a coward so i cld only write it down behind a screen. i hope it will explain everyth i rlly wanna say.










EDIT: it's something I brought upon myself, so ignore me, hit me, etc whenever. altho you could've rubbed it in my face i don't understand why you don't.