I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love.

'But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you. They tried to pull me away, but they don't know the truth.'

Perhaps months down the road.. perhaps so.

And I hope she turns out to have a cavernous vagina.

- XIAXUE FTW!

I've tried playing it cool, but when I'm looking at you I can never be brave.

 

'I need you here with me now cause you've got that one thing'

yeap it's One Thing by One Direction!!

Cause everyone's been talking about it and asking me to listen to it, and when I heard the song, it's awesome! ^___^

Today, I realised who was important and who wasn't. Maybe I took things for granted in the past, but right now I'm appreciating and contented with what I have now. I'm glad everyone's been sticking through thick and thin with me. 

I also realised that maybe I shouldn't reveal my 'be myself' too quickly. Cause it slipped my mind, we're living in a judgmental society. And maybe because I've been too soft and all 'marshmallow and peaches' with people whom I just knew, that was partly the reason why this person showed her true face. And it was horrible. She was so disrespectful, spiteful, boastful and rude. Yeap, but I just brushed it off. For she wasn't gonna be worth a quarrel, or least a bicker.

On a lighter note, it was a slackish day, cause there wasn't any important subjects 'cept English, which was a subject that was quite slacky too. Tho tomorrow's probably gonna be a tiring and exhausting day. And perhaps I may study in class after school? Seriously going to be doing badly for E math! But really, I really studied hard! Guess not enough? :/

And I finally found my motivation (:

 

 

Ex-Two peas in a pod.

It's beautiful people like you, who get whatever they want.

Promised that I would update my blog on the 16th January 2012, even though I have tons of revision

and stuff to do, well I made time to update! (:

Well, today is a very very special day. I hope she's happy today. I hope she's contented. Is she still fine? Is she eating well? Even though we haven't talked for about.. 4years? I do miss her. In fact, I couldn't stop reminiscing bout' the better days we've spent.. laughing, playing, heart-to-heart talks, midnight chats, and going home together.

Yeap, like two peas in a pod, we were once best friends. Well, couldn't say she treated me like one (Will explain later on).. because I was more of her follower, and maybe that was the reason why I severed ties with her. I just couldn't stand being treat badly before. Though I held on pretty tightly before I cut off all ties with her. Because even though there were the feelings of feeling lost, forgotten, agony, misery, I felt happy, elated, cherished, and most of all, loved. Which pretty much feels like you are a toy doll. Your human takes care of you everyday, you feel so happy, like never before.. you felt like this could never end.. but then it did. She bought another doll, even prettier, and just ditched you right under her bed. You can't do anything but feel depressed and lost, but even though you felt the worst feelings in the world, you continue to love your human, hoping one day she would wake up to her senses and realise that she treated you badly, and start taking good care of you again. But no, she ditched you. She ditched you. She didn't need you anymore. As many times she told you off, you still cling on to her like super glue. And in the end, you got yourself hurt so bad, you finally decided to let go. Why didn't you do that earlier, Anabelle?

Back to the 'Couldn't say she treat me like one (best friend)'. Even though sometimes she could be the best companion to be with, when she had temperamental problems, she vented it on me. And I let her. Because I thought that was what best friends are for. I've never felt so stupid. So dumb. Don't ask me how she vented her anger on me. Even me, myself, don't wanna ever go back to that day. That day when I have had enough, and we ignored each other.. a day.. a week.. a month.. and slowly a year.. and who would ever though.. 4years.

I thought I could find another friend like her, but she was different. Perhaps she was different because of THAT much of memories we've collected together. I couldn't possibly let go all of it. Because she lived in the same condo as me, it was easy for us to meet and hang out. We never fail to meet each other at the playground when we were primary 4. We would play catching with all the boys right after school. I'll be home around 7+ and get scolded by my grandma and my mom as a usual basis. There was one time we found a cat and we named it Miruku. Ah, still remembered it clearly. Bought vending machine milk, 80cents and after the school bus trip, we poured a bit on the floor in the staircase and left the half full milk bottle on the floor. Guess what? The next morning, the milk mysteriously disappeared.. but the bottle was still there. And the weirdest thing was, the bottle was still standing up, and at the same position as the previous day! God knows who drank it.. x.x

I just feel loved when I'm with her.. like I'm really treasured, and cherished. Whether it was, her tying my shoelaces for me, or putting her arms around me just to sneakily take my nametag off without me knowing (she likes to do that), or bringing a coconut up to her house and trying to crack it open with scissors. Hahaha, and we love to shake the coconut and listen to the mouth-watering juice moving to the way we shook it. I just wished we could talk again.

Kay, I sound so much like a lesbian now. But no lah! It's just friend-friend love, a love that's so strong, as strong as a man-to-woman's love. But I just know I don't feel anything but friend love towards her, cause there was once we fought outside her house for like 3consecutive days, right after school? And I mean literally fight. We loved to fight for fun. She likes to do most of the punching, and I did most of the kicking. And we were THIIS close to kissing each other already, yet I felt.. no hormones raging, no crazy heartbeat.. only this warmth feeling, knowing my best friend, was the bestest friend I ever had.

So..

Happy Birthday
perhaps next year.. and the next.. and the one after that.. I'll still be wishing you a happy birthday on this day.
 

Empowerment.

'Don't let today's disappointment cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams'

Saw that quote hanging in the classroom on top of the whiteboard. Sometimes when I felt stone-y I would look up at it and think about the meaning. 
PB A DAY KEEPS THE STRESS AWAY!
I has band today!! K not really keeping the stress away lah, more like, more stress for the Chinese New Year rehearsal! Gosh so ashamed of myself today T___T Everyone could get the notes right very easily and play so comfortably and I'm like there stressing out! And Erika was so encouraging and supportive during the whole band practice! (': She kept telling me just keep practicing and everything! So, Ima practice like crazy during the sat sun hols! Not forgetting studying math and do my homework. 
  

I shouted, I screamed, I mourned, I teared, I cried.

Couldn't hold it in anymore, so I poured out everything during the bus ride. Strangers avoided this emotional aura around me, nobody sat beside me during the whole ride. 

Funny how this amazing person could make me feel like I'm on top of the world, or a deep cut across the chest.

The person I deeply infatuated, cherished, loved.

You gave up to anybody, what I thought was only mine.

OMG. IT'S MOVING. OMGGG. Finally a gif working in my blog!!!!!!! GREYSON MAKES DREAMS COME TRUE (':
Got so much to say, I feel like I could just blurt everything out.
Shall start from what happen yesterday.
Was so tired out from band! & really dk what the sec1s are missing out on, really. Urgh. & they were super rude!
And look, I don't understand why you have to be so against me all the time. You're against whatever I say and do. And it was just a somewhat 'name game', must you pick me everytime you had the chance to? -.- That's why I couldn't take it anymore, she clearly had no respect for me, so whilst I was walking with her, I couldn't even bother to continue the conversation. Whatever she said, I just replied without using my head, 'yeah, oh, yah..' I couldn't even care if it were awkward for her, I just walked at my own pace, couldn't care less if she wanted to catch up with me or not. And gosh she's so stuck up.


And I'm sorry for whoever I've shouted at this week. It's just that this first week of the year was so stressful. Not about schoolwork. Just stuck up people. Really didn't mean to shout and be rude, just wanted a bit more respect. Yeah, I mean joke is joke, I can take it. But I freaking detest it when people try to take advantages of me. And can ya'll believe it!?
.
.
.
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.
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.
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I SHARED DRINK WITH A STRANGER. OMG.
A sec1 just asked if she could have a sip of my peach tea! & I just couldn't say no to the sec1! omg why am I so... urgh! And I felt so disgusted after sipping from the same straw omg! What if she has aids, then it transfers to me, and I transfer to everyone! Friend-friend is okay ah, but can you imagine some stranger asking if she could drink some of your drink!?1? OMFG. I hesitated a little before I handed her the tea, but then omg why am I so self-controlless! 
And some sec1 that lives kinda near me, she treats me as if we knew each other for years! She was like 'I will remember your face forever' and 'Eh lend me your phone' WTF, who do you think you are!? Eh lend me your phone!? Hello I'm not even close to you! And if you think we cld be friends in the future, sorry to burst your bubble but get lost. But in the end these thoughts were kept in my head and I didn't tell her off or anything, what worst? I still lent her my iPod. -.- Someone knock some sense into me, pls.


Urgh, there's so many subjects tomorrow. Tho we are probably not gonna do any work during lessons. Hope sec1s are still coming 8am tmr, so I don't have to do duty (: heh!!!
Sometimes I feel I should be more outspoken. I shouldn't give anymore fake laughter, and just tell people how I truly feel. 

There’s a place in my head that repeats what you said.

Mehehe I love that potato face. Hahaha! Hmm. I think late night blogging is kinda like my habit now, huh. Now it's 1.46am and I'm busy typing away while my family's asleep. It's just that there's so many things to do  during the day. Like today I had to finish up my english poster, study Indices and my steamboat dinner already took up quite lotsa time. Btw the steamboat was awesome, ate near our old school (; Heh. 
But my habit's gonna change once school starts. Ima be sleeping at 11pm and waking up at 5.30am ahhh x.x And can you believe it?! School is just TOMORROW. Having a debate in my head right now on whether I should be happy or dreading that school is just THIIIS close. Well, I'm gonna be regretting that I am excited for school cause I bet after a week Ima be sick of it. Gah.
Well first days' are always fun and exciting! We don't needa bring heavy books and pay attention in class. Hoho!
Oh, and thanks for the new year wishes guys! Kkk guess I'll be sleeping late tonight. Ima do the wishes for ya'll right here, now!

Meiting - 
mehehe hope you'll be reading this! Thankssss a lot for these 2years, whether it was 'I got new song for you!' staying back in classroom to study, tweeting, shopping, blogging, you'll always make me laugh like shit man! Yeap I'm gonna miss those times I camwhore with you too! And yeap I'm still going to motivate you like I always do, and I'm going to force you to study like crazy when school starts! Mehehe!
Study hard k, and don't give up on your Art. Must help me beat that adulterouzxzxzxz couplezxzcxcxzzxcxzcz k! HAHHA. K rlly, I was kidding.

Hui Ting -
Haha of course I wouldn't forget the chin thing! Your face is hilarious whenever I do that to you! HAHAHA! Yeap, thanks for making my 2011 a great year for me, and hope we'll continue to study hard, work hard, to 'climb up the ladder'! Hui Ting fighting!

Nittaya -
I'm not going to remind you to put down your fringe anymore!! From now onwards it's gonna be the opposite! Because I'm going to be a guai student leader and am doing duties already, for 2012! haha! I can't be a student leader if I'm a bad role model right?! HAHA! And yeap! I'm still going to encourage you to focus and motivate you! Do well, work hard in sec3 okay! Heh, it's thanks to you I pierced my ear. Cause I thought belly piercing would've been a lot worse and if you cld do it, then I cld 'at least pierce my ear, not at the belly cause ima die of pain and my lungs and intestines would bleghhgh out of my belly ahh'. Yeap, so let's study hard in 2012!

Jeanie - 
Hahaha hey Jeanie! Thanks for making my 2011 a great year, we went out quite a few times, Bugis, Orchard, and I've always enjoyed your company. And we're like the 'eh don't be mean to her luh' buddies. HAHA!! woah we've studied so hard just to get the grades we want. And I've always wondered, what is your motivation? You've never really told me before. I mean everybody has their motivation right, so what's yours? That made you study and work so hard. And yeah we'll continue studying hard! Don't slack k! 

Carmelita -
K. First thing I wanna say is, I didn't mean to say I wanna break your nose it was a joke k joke. hehehe. But I guess you didn't see that tweet so it's okay uh. Did whatsapp you that day tho, because you didn't reply me when I spammed like a gazillion times omfg, until I was pissed I said I wanna break your nose LOL! K yeah, I know you were depressed when you didn't get into the combi you wanted, but still, continue working hard for your Art kay! I can teach you and Mei Ting to draw if you want! And don't get too carried away, studies must be your #1 priority! 

Glynis - 
Hey Glynis! Don't think you're gonna read my blog tho, but thanks for 2 wonderful years, wait no, + the days with G (you know who I mean right? (; ) Love playing guitar hero and the drums at your house! But I guess we're not going to do that so often now right, since we're sec3 already and we needa concentrate on our studies. Well, continue studying hard! Seeya on Tuesday!

Jamie - 
Hey Jamie! Haha although I did not talk a lot with you, it was enough to make my 2011 wonderful, whether it was you doing the '-___-' face or the 'I don't know her, everybody idk her' face when I do smth retarded, or you sleeping in class is cute yet hilarious, I had a great time with you and the rest of the clique. Work hard for 2012! Don't sleep in class anymore! < I don't think you'll be able to do that huh. HAHAHA.


Misha -
Hi Misha! Tho I did not talk much with you this year, we still had a great time during Art, haha omg do you still remember our Art, it went all soggy LOLOLOL! And we bicker and argue in a crazy way when we were doing our Art HAHAHHA! It went something like - 
'Eh misha what you doing!! Everyone must have something to do okay!! Why still slack ah!'
'But I just finish doing the Pizza!'
'I don't care you must have something in your hands to do!! Fine take a break'
-After a minute-
'Ooooi Misha what you doing now?? Slacking ah!!'\
OMG HAHAHA I'm so sorry if I was very bossy and all, thinking about it now I feel like I'm working in a factory @,@
Well, work hard in your studies!! (:

Ooooh so tired! Now it's 2.47. Well, have a great year guys! 

 'This 2012, I hope everyone reading this blog will persevere in living their dreams no matter how impossible and tough it may seem, and may you make your mark in the world! 

To those of you with no big dreams, may you either find your calling or just be happy and contented with all the small little things in life. :)' -Xiaxue
   
EDIT: pspsps Mei ting and Carm takes F&N! Sorry! haha! Sooo, I can teach you to cook if you want! Tho I'm prolly gonna teach you how to burn food wtf.